


Five Times Jervis Worried About Being Found Out (And The One Time He Didn't)

by Esperata



Category: Batman: The Animated Series
Genre: M/M, Secrets, Trans Character, Trans Jervis Tetch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-09-24 22:09:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20365894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Esperata/pseuds/Esperata
Summary: Jervis Tetch has moved to Gotham, away from his controlling parents, determined to start his life anew. Secrets have a way of becoming uncovered though.





	1. Bruce Wayne

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing a trans character and I am happy to receive advice because you can prise this headcanon from my cold dead fingers.

“Well Mister Tetch.” Bruce Waye smiled warmly. “I think that pretty much concludes everything. We just need to get those references from you in order to go ahead and confirm your appointment.”

Across from him Jervis pushed the blond bangs from his eyes in a habitual nervous gesture and swallowed down his nerves.

“Of course Mister Wayne. There’s just one final thing I need to explain first.”

He glanced over to see Wayne recline back and gesture for him to go ahead. Taking a deep breath Jervis focused on the edge of the desk as he spoke again.

“It’s just that the references won’t be in my name, you see.”

There was a pause and when he risked a peek his suspicions were confirmed. Mister Wayne was frowning.

“Or rather,” Jervis rushed on, “They were in my name but it’s not anymore. I’m not the same person I was then-”

“Mister Tetch,” Wayne interrupted firmly but not unkindly, “are you trying to tell me you changed your name?”

“Well yes… and no. I changed other things too.”

“Let’s focus on what we need from you right now.” He smiled. “You don’t need to share anything else with me but do you have a certified name change document?”

“Yes. Of course.” Jervis hastily reached into the file he’d brought with him and easily found the requested sheet. “Here we are.”

He couldn’t help but bite his lip as he handed it over and awaited his new employer’s reaction. The seconds seemed to drag into infinity as he watched the man read through the legal paperwork.

“So, your deadname name is Alice Tetch?” he eventually asked.

Jervis couldn’t help his startled blink at the casual way Mister Wayne was dealing with this.

“Yes,” he confirmed.

“OK then. Well, I’ll handle the procuring of references personally. There’s no reason I can see why I’ll have to share this information with anyone else if you don’t want me to.”

“No… I… that is…” Jervis could feel his eyes tearing up and internally cursed his emotional nature. “Thank you.”

He took the opportunity of Wayne standing and moving round to surreptitiously wipe his damp eyes. Then he turned his gaze back onto the man now leant back on the desk looking down on him kindly.

“You’re not the first person to come to Gotham looking for a new start. Nor the first wanting to reinvent themselves. I want you to know that you’ll have the Wayne Foundation’s full support. If you need anything then please, don’t hesitate to come to me.”

Jervis wanted to cry again. He wanted to unburden everything. How restrictive his parents had been. How emphatic they were about him being their ‘beautiful little girl’. Their utter refusal to acknowledge any of his wishes in any regard. Whether it be to cut his long blond locks or give up on monitoring his weight.

The freedom he’d felt upon escaping his childhood home. Of eating whatever he wanted instead of their enforced diet. Not having to dress in those flouncy dresses his mother had insisted upon. And the joy of finally being addressed by his proper name rather than the caricature his parents had burdened him with: Alice.

As it was his voice choked any words he might have managed and all he could do was nod his understanding. Wayne smiled gently again and patted his shoulder encouragingly.

“I’ll just go make some calls about these references. Help yourself to some water while you wait.”

Jervis finally let out his breath when he heard the office door shut. With a calming inhalation he stood and moved over to the wide windows offering a view over all of Gotham.

He knew this wasn’t the end – not by a long shot – and his parents were still out there, willing to do whatever they could to get their girl back. But they were across an ocean now. And he had successfully started a new life here as the person he wanted to be. Someone in control of his life. Finally.

And no-one was going to take that control away from him ever again.


	2. Arkham doctors

“Now Jervis, it took us a while but we finally got hold of your medical history. Can you explain for me why you never thought it relevant to tell us yourself that your birth name was Alice?”

“Being so many different sizes in a day is very confusing,” Jervis answered dismissively.

Doctor Leland steepled her hands and surveyed her recalcitrant patient.

“I know you don’t expect me to believe there’s no significance to this fact Jervis. You happen to become fixated on a co-worker who shares the same name as your childhood self?”

As he showed no sign of engaging in the conversation she pressed a little further. With deliberate thoughtfulness she opened his file and slid out the two photos uppermost; Jervis on the one side, Alice Pleasance on the other.

“You know, when I see your two pictures like this, there’s a marked resemblance.”

That remark drew his attention and he glared across at her in a clear warning which she ignored.

“Both blond, blue eyed, round faced, similar heights… I expect when you were younger you even had a figure much like hers.”

“Don’t you see it yet?” he snapped. “That’s why she was perfect!”

“Your perfect match?” Leland raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

“Exactly!” His eyes lit up as he sensed she might understand. “She was the ideal Alice! She could have played the role they wanted easily. I could have been free!” His voice caught on the last word and he sunk inward again as reality weighed back down on him.

Doctor Leland took a few seconds to reassess her assumptions. She had thought he wanted a girlfriend who was a mirror image of himself. Perhaps as he might have been if things were different. This reaction was unexpected.

“Your parents?” she eventually hazarded, taking care to keep the surprise from her tone.

Jervis nodded miserably.

“They so wanted a daughter. And they were _so_ disappointed when I turned out not to be the girl they always wanted. I didn’t _want_ to disappoint them. I just wanted them to accept me as I was. I thought… I thought that perhaps if I got them a daughter… one who fulfilled every dream they ever had of a darling Alice… then they might finally allow me to be who _I_ am.”

Leland felt sorry for him, she really did, but the idea of him brainwashing an innocent woman just to escape his parents’ controlling clutches wasn’t something she could in good conscience let slide.

“It would never have worked Jervis. Miss Pleasance couldn’t have made them happy any more than you could. People like that… so fixated on a dream rather than reality… will never truly be satisfied. You have to let go of living up to their expectations.”

“I did!” Suddenly it was the Mad Hatter in front of her rather than meek Jervis. “I left them behind in England. I made a new version of myself. Separate from them in every regard.”

“Physically, yes.” Doctor Leland was too experienced to be unnerved by the change in pace. “But mentally? Emotionally? You said it yourself, you’re still looking for their acceptance. Their approval. Sometimes it’s necessary to realise you’ll never make some people accept the truth. To them you’ll always be Alice.”

“But I don’t want to _be_ Alice!” he wailed.

Leland stole her moment.

“And you’re not,” she insisted emphatically. “This is _their_ blindness. _Their_ inability to see you as you are. You and I know the truth. You are Jervis Tetch. And all you can do is focus on being who you are.” She took a chance. “_I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then_.”

Slowly, Jervis nodded.

“Yes. Yes, you’re right.” He dropped his gaze to his lap a minute before almost shyly glancing up at her. “Thank you doctor.”

“You’re very welcome.”


	3. Batman & Robin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know which Robin this is. Pick your least favourite and insert here. Or pretend its a new try out for the role. Whatever makes most sense to you.

Being the Mad Hatter was utterly invigorating. A type of freedom Jervis could never have imagined while living under the proverbial thumb of society. There was also the heady delight every time he read headlines of _his_ latest crimes, or heard reporters questioning _his_ current demands.

The Mad Hatter. Not Alice.

The feeling of control being able to so easily manipulate everyone’s perceptions always brought a delighted laugh to his lips. Really, there was only one fly in the ointment.

The batarang flew past his head close enough that he could feel the whisper of air brush against his soft cheek. With a displeased frown he turned to face his pursuers.

“If everybody minded their own business, the world would go around a great deal faster than it does.”

The Batman showed no reaction to the quotation and stood remarkably poised on the other side of the rooftop. Beside him the boy wonder was positively vibrating with contained energy. Briefly Jervis wondered if it was a new Robin. It certainly looked different to the one he remembered but then again his memory wasn’t always totally reliable these days.

“Give it up Tetch. There’s nowhere to run.”

“If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!”

He swiftly drew out his gun and brought it up to fire. Almost immediately however another batarang knocked it from his grasp. He barely had time to gasp when the breath was knocked out of him by the boy wonder landing a flying kick to his chest.

Fleetingly he felt a stab of discomfort at the reminder of curves he wished he didn’t have, even if they were thankfully not obtrusive enough to be overly noticeable, but that thought was knocked from his mind as a fist grabbed his bowtie and yanked him forward. The child’s grin was most obnoxious he reflected.

“A dreadfully ugly child; but it makes rather a handsome pig.”

He grinned smugly as the barbed insult struck home. The smile dropped from his face though as he saw the other fist draw back from him in preparation of swinging into his face.

“You know, I was raised not to hit girls,” Robin hissed, “but in your case-”

Jervis was so shocked by the comment that he forgot to be shocked when a large gloved hand caught the boy’s fist mid-motion.

“Robin!”

“What?”

“We talked about this. If you’re going to work with me then you need to learn appropriate respect.”

“Respect? Did you miss the part where the city was being held to ransom?”

Robin released the Mad Hatter as he turned to argue with his mentor and Jervis dropped to the ground as if his strings had been cut. All concept of his surroundings disappeared as he struggled to reconcile the fact that Batman apparently knew his secret. He’d always prided himself on keeping that information from everyone. At least from everyone except those whom it had to be shared with such as the doctors at Arkham. But they were bound by doctor-patient confidentiality. How had Batman found out?

Had he slipped up in some manner? No, surely not. Much more likely the vigilante had broken into the confidential records.

He blinked back to awareness to find the youngster being held firmly in front of him by heavy hands upon his shoulders.

“Sorry,” the boy muttered begrudgingly.

Jervis ignored him in favour of glaring up at his tormentor.

“And when I found the door was locked, I pulled and pushed and kicked and knocked,” he accused.

Robin turned up to Batman and gave an impatient gesture to Tetch that actually caused the dark knight to sigh.

“His mental state isn’t in question. Your manners were.”

Apparently determining that this confrontation was at an end, he reached down and snapped the cuffs on Tetch before dragging him to his feet.

“You should learn not to make personal remarks,” Jervis added, finally focusing on Robin as he was hauled along. “It’s very rude.”

With that he gave a huffy sniff and followed his escort down to the police cars.


	4. The Riddler

Arkham Asylum, despite its reputation and generally crumbling nature, was more of a home now than Jervis had ever known. It was a place of refuge and safety. All the people he cared about called it home at various times and there was usually a friendly face about.

Which was why he felt such visceral terror when that comforting atmosphere was unexpectedly shattered.

“Mail call,” the guard announced as he wandered into the rec room with the few letters that arrived for inmates. “Edward Nygma. Harvey Dent. Alice Tetch.”

Time itself seemed to come to a stop and Jervis sunk down as if the threadbare cushions would conceal him. How had they known he was here? There was no doubt in his mind who it was from despite the fact that he’d never kept in touch. Why were they writing to him? Why, why why…

“I’ll take it over,” Ed’s voice announced and Jervis felt his insides curl up a little more.

He focused on breathing evenly as he waited for Edward to join him. When the man sat along from him he found himself still incapable of looking at him though.

“I presume this is intended for you?”

In his peripheral vision Jervis saw an envelope being waved vaguely his way and he snatched at it, tucking it quickly inside his uniform as if hiding the evidence would remove the memory of its arrival.

“Care to explain?” Ed pressed, never one to leave a puzzle alone.

“Not really,” Jervis muttered. Perhaps this would be dismissed as part of some scheme or joke if he could only keep his head.

A vague hum alerted him to the fact the Riddler wasn’t about to accept that non answer.

“Actually, this explains a few things,” he declared.

Jervis couldn’t help it. He blinked and turned to stare in alarm. Edward was smirking.

“Your private showers for one,” he suggested.

Jervis blushed scarlet and turned his head away again.

“It does make me wonder though,” Ed continued, apparently keen on confirming his solution to this mystery. “Why were you so persistent in your pursuit of Alice? Are you gay too?”

The blatant misgendering was a step too far for Jervis and he swung around angrily.

“Firstly, it would not be gay of me to seek a relationship with a woman seeing as I am a man. Secondly, yes, I am gay since I have no interest in women that way.”

The smug grin on Eddie’s face alerted Jervis to the fact he’d been had and he frowned in irritation at being lured out. However the Riddler wasn’t in the mood to flaunt his victory and slipped back into a more relaxed attitude.

“If you weren’t after Alice as a girlfriend, what was the point of all that drama?”

“Honestly,” Jervis sighed. “I’m not sure I even understand it myself anymore.”

He thought of the letter pressed against him and wondered if he would even bother opening it. That part of his life was dead and buried as far as he was concerned. He had no further obligations in that direction.

Edward nodded in acceptance. Clearly he had another line of enquiry he was more interested in following.

“Soo… If you’re gay… _is_ there anyone you have your eye on?”

Jervis blushed again, determinedly holding his tongue while Edward waited impatiently for a response. Eventually he seemingly gave up and restarted the conversation.

“Does Jonathan know?”

The on point remark made Jervis’ jaw drop open and his wide eyes flashed back to Riddler.

“How could you possibly-”

He realised his mistake at once as he saw the equal look of surprise on Nygma’s face. The question had been about being _Alice_ not about…

As Jervis found himself once again blushing, Edward grinned like the proverbial Cheshire Cat.

“Well, well,” he teased. “Somebody wants to have a tea party with the March Hare.”

Jervis was left wishing the floor would swallow him, or that his burning blush would at least have the decency to incinerate the letter that had brought this embarrassing situation about.


	5. Jonathan Crane

For all that he was the Scarecrow, God of Fear, Jonathan had never actually scared Jervis before. Not until he said those three fateful words.

“Nygma told me.”

“Oh?” He knew his trembling response wouldn’t fool anyone, least of all an expert in fear like Professor Crane, but he tried nonetheless. “Told you what?”

Jervis kept his gaze fixed on the table where he had been playing solitaire yet he couldn’t help but be aware of Jonathan sitting across from him.

“You know what.” Jonathan’s voice was never terribly gentle but he made an attempt to soften it. “When were you going to tell me?”

The answer was probably ‘never’ but Jervis couldn’t bring himself to admit that. Instead he shrugged half-heartedly, eyes still avoiding his friend.

“I thought we were friends Jervis. I shouldn’t have to hear this from Nygma of all people!”

“How could I tell you?” Jervis finally looked up, immediately getting lost in those autumnal brown eyes. “You’re my best friend Jonathan. What if it ruined everything?”

“Ruined-? Jervis, how could you think this would ruin anything?”

Jervis could only gape at him.

“You mean… you don’t mind that I…?”

“Of course not!” Jonathan admonished, probably a tad more harsh sounding than he meant, at least if his apologetic look was to be believed. “I thought you knew… well… that I’m open to people of that community. Our community,” he added in what would be a nervous tone from anyone else.

The feelings that sentence lit in Jervis were too fluttery to be contained and he smiled a brilliant smile as he reached over to clasp Jonathan’s hands in his.

“Oh my dearest! If I’d had any notion you might be similarly inclined… that is… that you might feel the same, I would have confessed my feelings long ago!” he burbled happily.

Jonathan sat immobile and stared blankly at him, seemingly frozen by the mere pressure of Jervis’ hands on his. The smile faded from Jervis’ face as he felt the rigid tension spreading out from Jonathan in waves.

“Jonathan?” he queried hesitantly.

The sound of his name brought him back to himself and he coughed awkwardly, his eyes darting away to the side.

“I was talking about you being transgender not…” he trailed off, apparently unable to vocalise anything further.

“Oh.” Jervis quickly pulled his hands back. “Oh.” In the painful silence, Jervis tried to put his spiralling thoughts into some semblance of order. “Well… I’m glad you don’t mind… about that anyway.” He winced. “I should probably go now. I’m sorry.”

The sound of his chair scrapping backwards echoed loudly but didn’t startle him so much as Jonathan’s long arm reaching out to grasp his arm.

“Jervis…” The taller man cast his glance around as if for inspiration before frowning up at him. “Did you really mean that? About… having feelings for me?”

Jervis swallowed his initial response which was to deny everything and flee. He knew, perhaps better than anyone, the deep wounds Jonathan still felt over his affections being mocked. Even if he felt nothing himself for Jervis, he deserved to know that Jervis would never toy with his emotions.

“Every word,” he promised. “I’d never lie to you about that Jonathan.”

Jonathan ducked his head in clear embarrassment and Jervis would have left him in privacy if it weren’t for the hold the man still had about his wrist.

“I like you too,” Jonathan mumbled.

It took Jervis a second to believe his ears. Then he dropped heavily back into his seat.

“You do? Really? In… _that_ way?”

Soft brown eyes glanced over to him.

“Yes.” He smiled. “In that way,” he echoed.

“Oh,” Jervis repeated, unable to stop the delighted smile lighting his face. Jonathan momentarily matched his grin before a new frown overtook his features.

“Wait… Nygma knew about this too?”

Jervis couldn’t help but laugh in relieved euphoria.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I doubt Eddie explicitly told Jonathan but the man wouldn't be able to resist giving him a few hints and clues.


	6. Pride

The Pride festival was a particularly special event in the Gotham calendar. Whether the citizens realized it or not, it was the only occasion all the Rogues had a tacit agreement not to disrupt. Other holidays were fair game, and some were even considered the prerogative of certain individuals, yet Pride was for all and therefore off limits.

This was the first year Jervis had actually attended though. A small group of Arkhamites were currently blending into the crowd in a way they would never achieve any other day.

Harley was extravagant, even by her usual standards, yet all the same she didn’t stand out from the crowd. Her hair was dyed a variety of shades of pink and her outfit seemed to consist of ribbons and strips of fabric from every colour of the rainbow. Next to her Ivy looked positively conservative in a purple and pink striped t-shirt with a lighter pink striped mini skirt, topped off with a plain white belt.

For some unaccountable reason Edward was collecting up cocktail umbrellas from discarded drinks, all in multifarious colours. He was wearing a distinctive jacket of lurid pink paired with a pair of royal blue pants all combined with a rich purple shirt, none of which seemed to tone at all.

Jervis himself was trying to be both subtle and obvious, an attempt which he was aware was impossible. But let it not be said he couldn’t believe in impossible things! His suit was a light blue and underneath he wore a bright pink shirt. The look was completed by a striking white tie. Already he’d received a few cheerful compliments that immensely buoyed his spirits.

Not quite so much as the feeling of a thin hand slipping into his.

He cast an undeniably fond look at his boyfriend. Jonathan’s anxiety was palpable but calmed as he shifted closer and met Jervis’ gaze. Out of all of them, he stood out the most with his subdued choice of clothes, only wearing a scarf and pin to indicate his membership to the community.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” he asked lowly.

“Do you know, I am? Thank you for bringing me my dear.”

Jonathan ducked his head in the delightful manner he had and shrugged dismissively.

“It wasn’t my idea to come,” he pointed out.

“No,” Jervis agreed, casting a glance to their companions who were throwing themselves into the festivities. “But you came with me nonetheless. I appreciate that.”

He pulled Jonathan’s hand to his lips and placed a chaste kiss there. It was risky since the man hated public displays of affection even more than he hated being out in society, yet it was rewarded with a pleased smile. Apparently he felt it concealed enough by the party around them.

“If you want to leave at any time,” Jervis reminded him softly. “You only have to say.”

Jonathan paused briefly to cast his eyes over the scene around them.

“I don’t,” he answered slowly. “Its… nice. It feels like belonging.”

Jervis squeezed his hand tighter.

“You’ll always belong Jonathan. You belong with me just as I belong with you.”

“You say the most ridiculous things sometimes.” Despite his words, Jonathan let go of his hand and wrapped his arm about the shorter man’s shoulders.

For a few minutes they simply watched the dancing crowds and soaked up the warmth of each other’s presence and Jervis thought the conversation over. Then Jonathan licked his lips and spoke again.

“Do you promise Jervis? Always?”

Jervis turned to him and looked up into his worried gaze.

“I promise my dearest. Always.”

And with that Jonathan swept downwards to steal a kiss, uncaring if anyone saw them. Because it was a sight they would just have to get used to.


End file.
